postscript

All Things Grow: Save the Date

Save the Date is a really cute stop motion video from All Things Grow.

Heretic Movies, Heretic Films

I’m very much enjoying perusing Heretic Movies, Heretic Films. I originally visited the site to see how I could get a copy of the film Moonshine…and I’ve not been able to find a single thing on that site I wouldn’t be interested in seeing.

I tend to go to the movies a good amount. Sometimes at the theatre behind my work but most of the time, I’ll go to the Alamo Drafthouse, so I can have a beer and some food while watching.

Given that, what I do miss is seeing independent films like I used to see in college. I think i took it for granted because I’d show up to class and I’d see these fantastic films without ever paying for anything.

I miss that..definitely glad I found a distribution company online that seems to be filled with nothing but fantastic, independent films from all types of crazy lil genres.

Silver Screen Gems

Renaissance will be the future of feature film animation. And the fact that it takes place in Paris is a happy bonus.To be honest, I’ve always had a mondo crush on Leonardo DiCaprio ever since I saw his performance in This Boy’s Life (which was, by the way, based on the memoirs of Tobias Wolff). And in my teens, Baz Lurhman’s adaptation of Romeo & Juliet was my generation’s Casablanca. In seriousness, I’ve been following DiCaprio’s career for years (and oh dear, did you see The Departed? No? You really ought to.) and happy to see he was cast in Blood Diamond with Jennifer Connelly and Djimon Hounsou.

I think I must adore boyish charm because Emile Hirsch is also one of my crushes (and you’ll remember him as the geeky but adorable Matthew Kidman in The Girl Next Door) so to see him in such a serious and “grown up” role in the upcoming alphadog cements my theory that this kid isn’t going anywhere but up.

Of Merlot and Other Delightful Sins

At first, it was difficult to say why, really. At some moments, it was, perhaps, inexplainable. But slowly, the truth and its meanings didn’t have to be researched, extrapulated or even explained. After a while of letting it be difficult, it unravelled itself.

I’ve been watching these films (because we all know there really is a difference between films and movies) for the past few days; examining each little intricacy, each character, each lesson and why, I couldn’t really say. I just knew that I was in the mood to watch films I’ve always loved; always felt close to; always felt they tought me things – things that were already taught but were buried just beneath the surface (just enough for me to forget a little). I watched and grooved to Brown Sugar and fell in love with deep friendships, the human heart, and great hip hop. My mouth watered during Soul Food and I found myself making a commitment to create new traditions with my family – even if that meant my immediate “family” was one person. I cried uncontrollably and giggled when watching A Very Long Engagement partly because it was sad but mostly because I remembered a lot of things I knew I purposely forgot.

The films I love cling to my heart because they’ve reminded me of things I know I should not have let go of. They impart lessons (as simple as they may be) on heroism, love, true friendships, and what it can mean to be a truly good person. The thing I’ve searched for ever since I was a child has been me – lil’ ol’ me. But tonight, over washing dishes and thinking of these films, that there’s nothing to search for; nothing to find. I came to a remarkable realisation.

I’m already here.

There’s nothing to find because I’m here. Right here. In the moment. If anything, I’m just learning about who I am, who I was, who I want to be. I have a beautiful photograph of this person imprinted in my mind. And I know there’s no more searching. No more digging. No more research that needs to be done.

I think, in the end, we’re all right here.

New Traditions

I’ve been thinking about traditions the last few days and my head is hurting.

It seems like traditions encompass lots of different things to different people. It seems like they can act as security blankets for whole families. Whole generations of one family will see each other on that one day and eat, laugh, and cry together for just that one night.

It strikes me as sad sometimes. That families won’t talk much throughout the years but will give up everything to be at that once-in-a-blue-moon family gathering.

On the other hand, it strikes me as happy; that being together with a family means so much that they would make an entire feast and a party out of it; that they would keep in touch that way even though they may not see much of each other at other times.

The last holiday was Thanksgiving and I learned when I was little that a lot of people died. Well, actually, its more like a lot of people were exterminated, isn’t it? And the heads of the indigenous peoples were rolled and kicked down the streets of Manhattan. And that was this country’s first Thanksgiving.

There’s Discovery/Columbus Day, which makes less sense to me too. More indigenous people killed off, a flag was stuck in the ground, and that meant someone kicked ass and now the land is somehow theirs. The weirdest thing was having schools celebrate that back home in Puerto Rico, where we don’t even have indigenous people anymore because they were all killed. All of them.

For the most part, I don’t understand tradition. It reminds me of that whole notion of “nation-building” that the U.S was so hot potatoe about during the early years (and you still see it). In order to make people feel united, we’ll just go ahead and do the same things, worship the same thing, speak the same language (and no other), wave flags about, and tell other people how much they truly suck in comparison. This. This seems like this country’s tradition – especially over the past few years.

I thought about these things and remembered that I haven’t really grown up with any sort of tradition with my family which is very large on both sides but we are not close. They remember me when I was a child and, sure, they always ask about me now that I’m far away. But I know that there isn’t that deep-rooted family connection like there is with some other folks. I don’t have a whole generation of people getting together over stuffing and turkey. Just my mum.

For the most part, its just me and K. Every once in a while, my mother will be there. And my father won’t. I’ve learned to understand that sometimes, I can’t rely on family just because I am made of them.

I think I’m doing to come up with new traditions this season. Traditions that revolve around different notions of family and what constitutes one. I’ve never had a “normal” family and judging by what that is here in the States, I don’t think I’d want one. I just want to be thankful that I’m here. Be thankful that I still have the ability to help. Be thankful that I do have people in my life that care for me and that I have the ability to care for others.

Regardless of what people tell me, traditions can be changed. Thanksgiving doesn’t amount to heads rolling about anymore (though people forget history, which I don’t think is right). I think change is a long time coming for this country but I hope it happens in a positive direction. This country and many people in it seem so lost.

I know I don’t fit here and I most likely never will. I don’t look like everyone else. I don’t act like others. I don’t have the same desires, dreams, or aspirations. So, I’ll just make my own traditions.

This Yule, I’m going to spend it cosying up to K, hugging my mother and telling her I love her, calling my father and telling him I forgive him, and letting each and every single friend and person in my life know that they are always in my thoughts. I’m going to get tons of catnip for my felines, some raisins for my butterball ferrets, and I’m going to do these things often. I’m not into the whole “spirit of Christmas” routine. Being good to people and thinking of others and selflessness is something we ought to do all the time, not just because its Yuletime.

Oh, I won’t forget adding copious amounts of The Princess Bride (my non-holiday holiday film of choice), The Nightmare Before Christmas and Edward Scissorhands.

A very good Yule this will be.

The Good Things

My perfect Saturday was spent:

1. Having breakfast with K at an hour one could conceive as “breakfast” hour.
2. Hung and distributed postcards for photography clients
3. Asked a gallery to show my work (and the possibility is seriously stoking me out)
4. Drinking a glass of Knob Creek with Coke at 2:30 in the afternoon with a good book and without any guilt.
5. Curling up with K to watch Firefly on the DVD.
6. Curling up in a small and independent movie house to watch the amazing Motorcycle Diaries.
7. Come home to a freshly cleaned house, animals that missed you (possible only because we feed them), and a warm, comfortable bed in which to fall asleep in.

I only wished I would have done some work but all in all? This was one fine Saturday.

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