Revisiting
While organizing posts from years back (some of you might remember my other site before this one), I came across one that I had to re-read. Back then, I had written it in response to some thoughts about who I am as a person and who I wanted to be. They were realizations that came to me after (re)watching specific films that I’ve always held close by – for moments when I’m feeling just a little less strong.
It’s been five years since I wrote that blurb. It seemed a bit more than circumstance or convenience that I come across it again after so many months of struggling with that very same question: “Who do I want to be?” and “Am I right where I planned to be?”
I don’t believe in luck (which is not to say I don’t respect other people’s thoughts on it because I certainly do). I think people generally make (or should make) their own luck. I don’t think I believe in things like fate either. I don’t believe that there exists something or someone pulling strings and leading me into situations predestined. Everything is purposeful. I’m not where I am by accident. I’m not where I am because of a mistake. Every choice, whether thought out or no, was a choice I made. And those that I’ve yet to make will be made the same way.
But I do know this: I’m very much here. Not through fate or destiny but through active choices. Were they smart ones? Who knows. Should I have made different choices? Maybe. But maybe not. I can’t really control that and don’t think I would want to if I could. I’m here because I want to be.
And who I am right now? I’m just fine.
Tags: favourite posts, reflection
